I've been doing some thinking. Quite a lot of thinking, actually. The past few months, I feel like I've been having an out-of-body experience where my mind hasn't been attached to the life I've been living. The lights were on, but nobody was home.
Last month, I lost someone very close to me, and I never expected it to hit me as hard as it did. Without going into too much detail, losing someone so young with so much life left to live really makes you question everything, and in particular, I think it shocked me into wondering where I'm going with my life and what path I want to take.
My passion has always been with writing, and that's why I started this blog. It was my own little corner of the Internet where I could gush about the new Valentino collection, or make a Topshop wish list, or show off my new shoes that I'd been so proud of. But recently I've been feeling a little disconnected from this blog. I'm constantly wanting to change it, or comparing myself to other bloggers out there. I suppose that's why I've decided to start a fresh (you may notice that all previous blog posts have disappeared).
When it comes to The Fashion Diaries, I've been chasing my tail trying to find that old Liv that used to get home from college and couldn't wait to sit down in front of her laptop and write down all of her thoughts. I never used to care what people thought about my writing, because really, it didn't matter to me who was reading... it was more of a documentation of things for myself to look back on.
But blogging has changed so much.
Blogging is now an industry and a career. Bloggers are now celebrities: signing book deals, becoming the face of fashion brands and travelling the world. What a lot of consumers don't see is the "business" side of things. The statistics you have to disclose to PR's to get into fashion week. How they scruitinise you because of what platforms you use. Are you utilising SEO? Do you have a good CPM? What is your bounce rate?
There is definitely a lot of pressure to produce fresh content. Especially for fashion bloggers, because you're deemed to be failing if you don't own a pair of sliders or culottes - the current trend, which will no doubt be something new next week.
It's exhausting. It's surreal. And it's taken me a while to adjust to it and think "okay... woah... is this still something I want to do?". Somewhere amongst those stats and acronyms is probably where I became disorientated.
Although part of me wants to take a breather and just write about whatever the hell I want - even if that includes last seasons sale items (shock horror), the other part of me is scared of getting left behind. And for someone who is so passionate about their writing and wants to do it as a career, that's pretty terrifying.
So I'm taking things back to the start. Even though I've had a lot on my mind, The Fashion Diaries is still a huge priority for me. I now know exactly which route I want to take and I'm going about it with a refreshed attitude. I'm falling back in love with blogging.